Words can't really explain how hard some decisions in life are. What career to pursue? Where to move to and get rooted? Starting a family....etc. Today marked the beginning of a decision that we made together as a couple about 2 months ago. The decision to hire a Nanny so that Nadia can go back to work. It was not an easy decision to make. We went through all the pros and cons and have done our best to feel confident in our choice. We are sensible people, able to reach decisions intelligently with logic, but what do you do when there is an undeniable emotion attached to such a decision. An emotion so overwhelming that it just can't be ignored? That's an effect we knew we would be feeling right now.
Today was only day 1. We found a great Nanny in Sylvia, whom has now been with us for the past two weeks. She spent those two weeks with Nadia and Naomi to get her up to speed with how we do things and also to get Naomi familiar and comfortable with her. I'll have to do a write up on her soon too. Things are going pretty good, but it is obvious that nothing can ever replace the love of a Mother - especially a mother like Nadia. To say that Nadia is an amazing mother is really not giving justice to just how maticulous her care and devotion to our beautiful daughter is. It is quite remarkable to see just how much Nadia has transformed into this Super Mom. But today, Nadia went back to work while Naomi and Sylvia spent their first day together. It went as we expected, some definite bumps in the road. We had hoped for the smoothest transition possible and did everything we could over the past couple of weeks to prepare, but Naomi just wasn't ready today to be without her Mama. Poor Naomi struggled. Sylvia did her best to sooth and go through the daily routine, but it was a day we will just have to put behind and remind ourselves that it will get better.
Nadia, as you can imagine rushed home, anxious to see Naomi and just smother her with every ounce of love that she has and let her know that she is still there. By the time I came home and walked through the door, I was so happy to see Naomi laying with Nadia, cozy on the couch. I could definitely tell that it was decompression time for the both of them for having such a difficult and stressful day. I can't imagine how disorienting this all must be for Naomi, but it was nice to see here smiling for us as we all cuddled on the couch. The night was much better for her with both Mama and Papa home. The whole family together just the way it should be. All of this has had me thinking for so long just how backwards life is sometimes. We have to work so hard just to keep up with the day to day and ins and outs of life, but the most important things, such as spending time together seems to be the hardest thing to do. Why is it that so much of our life and time is spent away from the ones we love? A paradigm. One that I wish was different.
For now we will stick to this plan for as long as we can, or at least until our hearts just can't take it anymore and then we know that Nadia needs to come home. Or maybe, just maybe we can make it through this stage and find a happy balance. One way or another, the only thing that matters to me is the well being of this family and our little Naomi being safe and sound, knowing that Mama and Papa are always here for her.